The problem with not holding emotional court to a found guilty jury is that I have very little restraint went it comes to matters of the sexual kind.
I find it interesting to contemplate why people have such a hangup about sex and subjects surrounding of the body, being told what you should of shouldn’t do makes me wants to push against the constraints and see how far I can take it.
Now I’m not excusing rape, or any weird shit (we all know what I mean), but why can’t you have multiple partners and enjoy yourself, as long as you’re careful and no one gets hurt in the process.
No one gets hurt in the process.
Now that’s a difficult one.
I used to fantasise about the last person I slept with, even if I knew it wasn’t going to work out or there was no conceivable way that I would ever meet that person again and if I did I wouldn’t care, but day dream non the less, different scenarios, chance encounters, you name it.
But as you get older, wiser, but definitely older this subsides, you learn to leave the dalliance at the door, or bed in most cases, you don’t offer a phone number or take theirs (unless you want to see them again) you start to think in what you would perceive as a more masculine way of thought.
Am I now the one who is hurting others by treating the situation as what it is rather than romantically what it could be?
Am I missing out on the wistful musings of ‘What if’?
I don’t think so.
The thing to watch out for is if I start to use people for the sake of it, use it as a crux to make myself feel better and the result is someone else doesn’t, even though a small part of me gets off on that slightly….Just being honest.
With personality disorders of any kind it’s learning how to curb your enthusiasm for whatever addictive siren is calling you at that time. It’s gleaning from the experience something that will enhance rather than destroy, yourself and the people around you.
I will try to heed my own advise.