That is the question……
I have spoken before about life or love being a game, one big fat fucked up fucking game.
From Pawns to Rooks, from Rooks to Knights and Knights to Queens, and Queens to…….
Like the musical number in Chess ‘Nobody’s on nobody’s side’.
I am so sick and tired of playing or trying and failing to play with others, is it nurture or nature that enables us to bond, to mould, to work and play nicely with other people? Maybe a bit of both, maybe we are pre designed to be a player or be played.
Or neither, why should we allow people to walk heavy on our souls and change how we feel.
It’s like looking at someone who has their fingers hold slightly the arm of a vinyl turn table, they are looking at you, straight in the eye as they lower it onto the record which is your life, now they could just drop it, hurting the record damaging the needle, they could place it slowly, delicately, with tenderness and let the music play, then again they could grind the needle into the grooves, fucking up the whole fucking equipment.
What do you do?
You look them back in the eye and take back the turn table which is you.
Play your own tune.
It is hugely easy to do, it’s how you see yourself.
One second I could be a pent up frustrated old crone, or perhaps underutilised at work, or even not being listened to at home, then the next moment I’m sitting back and gaining control. It has taken such a hell of a long time to do this, it might not even last, but right now I feel able.
It’s not meditation, it’s seeing the whole world as a game that needs playing.
One giant SIM’s universe that’s been left.