Can’t see the wood for the trees

What the fuck.

Why am I so impossibly flawed, how can one human have a complete inability to control my emotions. I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Do Monkey’s look at another Monkey they like and say ‘Hey you! male Monkey, I shall give you the ability to allow you to change how I feel’

Does that happen?

Does a male Dolphin suddenly like another Dolphin more which leaves the female Dolphin questioning their very being?

No wonder we look for a higher power to explain the whole fucked up beauty which are humans, the question is not why are we here, but why are we given these gorgeously, tempestuous, feisty, angry, warm, loving, kind, hateful and lost feelings.

What a horrible game God played (whatever God and no God), what a truly disgraceful horrid game.


It’s like we have been given too much, and just fractionally not enough.


We can see how we can feel and we can fall in love and hate and everything in between so easily but we find it monumentally difficult to train our clever and expanding minds to be able to shut down the emotions once we get them going, surely after 1000’s of years we should have mastered the art of self control.

Or is it was we don’t want to, is it that we choose not to control the emotional elements as we are not machines, animals(clever animals, well, most of the time), yes, but not machines.

If we could, suddenly stop loving someone, would we do it? Would we take a pill to stop how we feel, or is it that process of torture that keeps growing as people.

I would take the pill, I would train my thoughts, I don’t need any more personal fucking growth.


So I’m going to try and use a technique where I will flick, and flick that fucker hard, an elastic band round my wrist, now in theory this could work, except I will look decidedly crazy when talking to the man that I want to dismiss as off hand as a swish of a mares tail, ‘how are you today’ – Ouch, ‘can you just do me a favour’ – Ouch…Ouch, Ouch twatting Ouch.

Maybe not.

How is it though that sometimes we can just turn off our emotional triggers, people fall out of love don’t they, OR is it that they fall in love (perhaps just the starting gear up, limerance) with out people, there is a saying about relationships and branches, are we only happy to get rid of one when there is something else to cling onto, however tenuous.

Do I just need another man to be the object of my affection, or am I wallowing in like a fat sow in warm damp muck, making squiggy noises and happy as a, pig is shit I guess.

It’s like a catch 22, how can you find someone while thinking about someone else. People do it all the time though don’t they, all the bloody time, so maybe now I know this, I can train my brain to be more open to the suggestion of ‘someone’ else.

Be a tree with lots of branches, seems pretty legit to me, the more branches extending to twigs the more likely I might be to get over the wood…Haha…

By finding a forest, this could work.