Not one person who I gave the clovers to have won the lotto, disgraceful behavior.
The band Love once said ‘You know that I could be in love, with almost everyone’
I feel like that now, not that I have an enormous sense of well being just that I’m IN love with multiple men, never really thought it was possible to love (and yes in the romantic way) more than one man.
But I do
All completely different and I’m not fucking any of them.
I’ve lost it haven’t I, don’t get me wrong I’m having sex, just not with said 3. I think I like peoples minds, how they think, why they do things and just the sheer intelligence of them.
They are all very clever, slightly in love with me, and unattainable, ones married, one has a girlfriend and the other is single but miles away.
Now over thinking all this I could come to the conclusion that I find these men because I can’t have them, alas…One was my boyfriend before and I could have the single bloke if I really wanted so that’s not the case.
Luck? Plausible, am I meeting these people at the wrong time like like like like a record that’s jumped (see a previous blog), that I’m just out of sink of my lifeline, don’t see why not…..
I quite like loving these men, it makes me feel good that they are in my life, for whatever reason and however they are, they just are, and I’m thankful for this, my life is richer, fuller and warmer, but it’s also hostile, barren and cold.
Mentally I can live out my life with them, physically I’m alone, which sucks, so maybe I am choosing to have fondness for the unattainable, as I can have the perfect relationship in a daydream rather than a wet patch and having to remember to pluck my tash, this could be the way forward.
The ability to daydream is one of the most fucking amazing things in this tragic but beautiful universe, why don’t we do it more often? Why doesn’t it have more of a following? Makes no sense to me whatsoever, I’ve even learned how to pause my thoughts like a book and sometimes if I’m lucky I’ll have back stories and subplots and I can do this while working, walking the dogs and cooking, can be dangerous mind you (see what I did there) as the lines could get blurred they haven’t so much before but it does make me like these men more.
Jesus, I sound like a stalker
Well I guess I am but in my head…perfectly safe